Hello everyone, this is my very first post and I thought I would go back into my past and tell you some short stories about my life.
First I would like you to meet my ex, his name is William and he’s a fucking asshole. Please keep in mind through this whole thing that I was still in big school while he was graduated. We met on tinder, yes I know that is mostly used for hook ups, he was different from the other guys on there. Our conversation started perfectly and we enjoyed talking to each other for about a week before we decided to meet. First of all when we met he lied and said he was 5’10 and taller than me and my unusually long legs, but even though I was in flats and he was in boots he was still barely taller than me. He was extremely nice but I decided I did not want to date him because after a few dates and a few kisses, I was still gagging when I thought about him kissing me.
So how did he become an ex?
Well after a week of him still texting me everyday and being sweet, I decided we could be friends and hang out. After a few weeks of us just being only friends I had a date set up with another guy from tinder, but I was too scared to go alone so I talked Will into coming and tagging along. Let me tell you this guy from tinder brought a whole new definition of weird, and I found myself comparing Will to him and by the end of the night I had talked myself into dating Will. Mostly because I was scared to be alone and I had only had one short relationship before him.
We ended up being happy and in love! Well at least he was, I however couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong and that I would never be able to truly love him. But I kept trying because I wanted to be with him so badly. Plus every time I’d spend the weekend at his house I would get free weed and I would smoke so much it made our sex feel like I was on a whole other planet. Yes, I was really staying for the sex, I thought it was amazing. Besides the fact that I never knew what an orgasm was while I was with him. Every time we fucked I was high and I thought that was really how the sex felt, but then when he decided to go into the military we both had to stop smoking. After that everything changed, I payed more attention to my feelings and I wasn’t feeling things with him and I wasn’t sure I ever had.
I thought things would get better and that we were just in a rough patch but then his mom started becoming more and more concerned in our relationship. Probably due to her over hearing our constant late night fights. She had began asking questions about what we would do if he made it into the military, she started pushing for us to get married. She would keep asking me if I was going to have his kids and when I was going to make her a grandmother, because it had to happen before he went into the military in case he got injured. At this point I was going crazy in the relationship and I was taking any excuse to fight with him and try to get him to break up with me so I didn’t have to be the one to hurt him, but of course he didn’t.
We ended up going to my senior prom together, it was fun I am not going to say I had a horrible time. I was really trying to find the love I thought I could have with him. But the next day I had my border collie of 1 years old get ran over and killed. I was crushed and recked in every way you could imagine because well she was actually more of a therapy dog than a regular pet. I had a hard time moving on and I honestly couldn’t do anything sexual because I had lost my sex drive. With the loss of my sex drive came more fights and it even got to the point where I had his mother texting me and blowing up my phone about how I was a horrible girlfriend and I needed to start trying to make him happy again and move on with my life.
The reality was that after I had lost my dog, who I thought I would have for 13-15 years, I came to accept the fact that I didn’t actually love Will, I just loved the idea of having a boyfriend my senior year. I learned some crazy things from my doggo, she taught me how to love hard and fast, also that life should mean more than settling. But even though I had known I didn’t love him I couldn’t break up with him because he was my best friend and the only person I could constantly rely on. But as time when on and I slowly got my sex drive back, we started having sex again and I noticed he was different in bed. For a man that only liked a few sex positions, he decided that he liked a new one and “knows it feels good” when we hadn’t tried it and had been together for six months.
I started looking on the find my friends app more, when he would stop responding to me or miss our normal nightly phone calls. It would show him miles away from his house, at a park or on a street I didn’t recognize as his usual friends house, Blane. But when I would ask him where he was and he’d finally get back to me he said he was at Blanes, which didn’t make sense unless he moved over night. One night I had a horrible day and really needed to talk to him but he wouldn’t answer and find my friends said he was at “Blanes house”.
I called Blane:
Me: “Hey is Will there? I really need to talk to him, it’s sort of important”
Blane: “No I haven’t seen him in a month, I thought you two were broken up.”
Me: “We are still together, why do you think we are broken up? He’s been at your house almost every night last week.”
Blane: “Maybe you should talk to him, but out of respect I’m going to tell you that he has been seeing another girl. I thought it was his new girlfriend since he finds them so fast”
Her name is Chastity, how ironic? They had been sleeping together since my dog died. When we gave each other our stuff back, he brought her with him. I will never be able to get her face out of my memory.
I know I didn’t treat him right and I deserved some kind of karma but he had always promised to not cheat and to have a clean break up if we were unhappy. I was unhappy but at least I didn’t cheat on him.